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I was thinking about my blog post from last week and trying to decide what I should tell you about this week. I went back to refresh my memory and it struck me, after reading last week’s post, how differently I approach art versus the rest of my life. I clearly admitted to being a control freak last week always wanting to know or control the outcome of whatever is happening. It is a character defect I readily admit to and work on daily. You would think a person with those defects would be very precise and very rigid in their painting style and in their approach to creating. Would you ever guess I am the exact opposite? I am totally and completely incongruent- the two mes.

Maybe it comes from being a self taught artist who likes to experiment with different products or just from my desire to watch paint and canvas meld together, but I never have a set outcome planned when I create a painting. The most planned thing that happens in my process is what size canvas to use and maybe a color palette for the day. I work intuitively taking the next step based on what just happened. I really don’t think about it consciously. I like to use paint movers and lots of wetness whether with alcohol or water and see what effects happen when they are introduced. The best paintings come when I work very loosely and quickly making marks, splashes, and patterns in the paint or mediums. Even my calmer paintings have lines of pattern or texture where paint was moved underneath. Does that sound like a person anxious about the outcome or a plotter and planner? I just enjoy the doing. I flail around the canvas until the thing it is supposed to be shows up. Somehow I recognize it and refine whatever it happens to be. That is my gift God gave me. I cannot explain it. It just happens and I am grateful for it. It makes me a calm and comforted person inside. That person doesn’t look like the other person I have been telling you about. I’m not sure where she comes from.

I guess it could be true that our hobbies or gifts bring out our true selves. Maybe when we live a life that honors our true selves, we are more free-free from worry of outcomes. We stay more in the now and worry of future things dissipate. In art, that seems to come easily to me. I am working on translating more of that art self to the rest of my life. I think it will be a good thing. Letting go does feel good! Its like finger painting! I hope the more I let go the more the two mes will merge into one happy chick who paints and I won’t care if I know what is happening tomorrow or if the dish towels get folded the correct way.

Best until next time,

Kelley

I know people who get up each day and go whichever way the winds blows. They thrive on not knowing what will happen next and they easily take change with a grain of salt - good or bad. I am not one of those people. I am a planner. I like to know what I am doing tomorrow. I like to know what is next and what I can count on. I’m certain I am a control freak who just likes to be in charge. 2020 has not been a great year for such a planner. God is indeed testing my faith and showing me where I need to grow. He is showing me where I need to trust more and rely on His promises for good. He is growing my faith as He has been since I jumped off the cliff into this painting adventure with my eyes closed tightly afraid to breathe.

And now, another “wind of change” has billowed through my life! The studio, Wild Ibis, where I’ve had space since getting out of my garage, is breaking apart. Wild Ibis is moving to Mt Dora-back to their roots and to their comfort zone. 2020 seems to be about everyone finding their own space where they feel best. I will be staying behind in Eustis at the same building with my same space, but with a new name. I am left with so many unknowns and so many questions. What will come next? Who will fill these spaces? Will there be new opportunities ahead for me in 2021? How will all this turn out? Will people remember I am here? What will be the new vibe? So many uncertainties. That is not a comfortable place for a planner.

At first, I was saddened that 2020 destroyed such a neat place-a place that first gave me a glimpse of who I am as an artist and who I could be. It was comfortable to me as it is. And, I would be missing some really great, supportive ladies in my life day to day- ladies who have encouraged me along the way when I had doubts and ladies who have helped open doors for me. After taking in some deep breaths, I have chosen to see this change as an opportunity for me to grow as an artist and as a person and as an opportunity to have faith that God is in charge of this plan. No doubt, there will be new people coming into my life. No doubt the business operation at the space will be different and no doubt operating under a new name will bring new people in the front door. Much is left untold thus far. God has not let me peek around the corner to see what is next yet, but I’m beginning to feel some greater sense of trust that all will be well. Opportunities for 2021 are already presenting themselves and I am finding that with each new change in 2020, I am accepting it sooner and with more grace. God really has His job cut out for Him. As my Dad tells me, when I was 4, 5, 6 years old, I always wanted to know what we were doing and at what time. And, if the time came and we weren’t doing it yet, why not? I was that kid….

So, since I can’t see around corners and all isn’t in place yet, I will be painting and creating in my space and trusting God has me just where He planned for me to be to accomplish the things He intends for me to accomplish with the gifts He has given me. That is my comfort in these times of uncertainty. And it is also my challenge. Having blind faith does not come easy to us control freaks. We are always a work in progress. I’m hoping good art will be made through the struggle. You’ll have to be the judge. One thing is for certain, I will be giving it my best shot no matter how much change comes my way. I am finally doing the thing I love and I won’t let fear of change take that from me.

I’d love to hear from you. Where do you gain your confidence, peace, harmony when times of change come? How do you take to change? Do you roll with it or do you struggle to the end? How have you weathered the winds of change during 2020? Have you adjusted easily or are you still struggling? Just leave me a comment or two in the section below.

Best until next time,

Kelley

Did you ever view my paintings and wonder, why did she paint that? Why did she paint lines, colors, shapes, squiggles and patterns on the canvas and call it art? Well, the answer to that question is pretty simple and maybe it will give you more insight into why I paint some of the things I paint.

Since I was a teenager, I have often struggled with something many people struggle with -migraine headaches. I have what turns out to be a big blessing with my migraines, however. I have auras that float in my periphery. Auras, as it turns out, are an early warning sign of an impending headache. I learned from my doctors that if I take medication when the aura appears, I can stave off that really bad headache. That is one blessing all by itself. Doing so has saved me years of suffering.

But, the main blessing is seeing the actual aura itself. My auras are often geometric shapes of bold colors of the rainbow that float in and out my peripheral vision. They seem very majestic and are brilliant in a way I cannot describe.

I've said since my teens if I could only paint my auras, I’d be a great artist. So, finally, I am making the attempt to do just that. I'm trying to translate the thing that happens in my minds eye to the canvas. I'm not sure it will ever come across to you just as I see it, but, I will keep trying to share the beauty of what would, at first glance, appear to be bad thing. And, next time you see one of those brightly-colored paintings of shapes and squiggly lines maybe you’ll think, there she goes again, trying to paint that headache.

Best until next time,

Kelley

2020 has been a really crazy year! I don’t have to tell that to anyone reading this. The year started off with many bangs and what I considered many successes. The way it looked in January, 2020 was going to be a big year for moving my art business forward and getting my name out to places that had no clue I existed. And, just like many in business in 2020, THEN CAME COVID!

Along with the rest of the world, the art world grinded to a halt and where there had been hope of great things, depression and a malaise set in. I don’t mind sharing that I had great difficulty painting and picking myself up each day to move through what was in front of me. I saw other artists thrilled with the extra time to create and so many using the time to make wonderful paintings or learning new techniques through Zoom workshops. I spent all of January, February, and most of March creating work at a frenzied pace because I had an upcoming solo show scheduled in April 2020. Work was flowing out of me and it couldn’t be stopped. so, when the world put on the brakes, for a short few moments, I was glad for a rest. But then, I just couldn’t get back at it. The motivation to paint and create had disappeared as quickly as the opportunities.

This year has really been a lesson in self discovery! Through this time, I have learned that I paint from a place of happiness and calm. I have learned I am not a person who paints from anger, fear, darkness, or depression. I paint from light! Looking at my work, I can only find one painting that was created in great anger and sadness since I started this painting journey. That’s why I’ve had such difficulty creating work for what is now the norm, “what did you paint during covid” exhibit. While good, so many of the paintings you see there are full of sadness and forlorn mood or feeling. That shuts down my creative flow. It makes me freeze and be stuck.

So, what broke the sad spell, you ask? The day I received the email from a friend at the museum where my solo pop up show had been scheduled. Seems they were ready to reschedule the fundraiser event and take a “cross your fingers” risk to see if anyone would be willing to get out and about to see art and support the local museum in their annual fundraiser. Just that one email, broke the spell. Suddenly, I had purpose again and I was able to create a couple of new pieces for the event. There was a forward looking mind set. And, as it turns out, my work will remain there even longer than the originally planed time frame, so, more people will have an opportunity to see it. God always takes bad things and turns them to good! You just have to have faith! The week before the newly scheduled event, our Governor opened the state and more felt comfortable venturing out beyond the grocery and Home Depot. Turns out, people were willing and ready to come out to see new art and more importantly, to support our local museum. The event was held this past Friday and it was a success by all measures of 2020. I sold paintings, new people saw my work, and the museum gained more funds to keep the operation moving forward. For 2020, that is bonus!

While I really don’t want a repeat of 2020 by any means, I am grateful for the time I’ve had to reflect about why I create art and what motivates me. I’ve learned a lot about myself. Praying the rest of the year moves on by quickly and that 2021 can be the really great year we were all expecting when this one started. I am even beginning to think about what will be my next direction to paint… that’s progress!

I’d love to hear your stories about 2020 too. Feel free to share them here!

Best until next time,

Kelley